The Hopeful Series: Obedience
You would never believe how torturous the process of brushing hair can be. At least, you’d think it was torture the way my nine-year-old fights this daily ritual with every fibre of her being. It’s almost as if I’m asking her to needlessly put her arm in a fire. Her look of absolute shock every time I ask her to find the brush really does make me second-guess myself sometimes. And you wouldn’t believe the number of nights I’ve drifted off to sleep dreaming of taking her to the hairdresser for a bob.
The other particularly heinous task I force my daughter into is a daily shower. Her loud wails bemoan some exquisite torture, rather than what is actually a luxury cleanliness routine. As my mum would say, “The children in Africa would love a daily warm wash… etc, etc.” Sorry, Africa. I know some of you are well past this, but this was, cough, thirty years ago.
I get it. As children, obedience sucks. Most of the time it’s the fun-ruiner, the party-pooper, the excruciating repetitiveness of being told to do the same thing over and over again. But as a parent, I understand the long game that obedience leans into. There has to be trust, trust that the person asking has the listener’s best interests at heart.
Even though my daughter doesn’t quite understand why she has to brush her hair every day, the impending dreadlock weaving its way slowly through the back of her head would eventually become something that brings far more pain later on. Either through a tearful buzz cut, or a slow, laborious mum-brush (dear God, no).
God is much the same with us - telling us to do things a certain way, asking us to trust that even when we don’t fully understand, obedience is still the wisest path. He asks us to believe that there are laws and balances outside of our limited periphery, things he is constantly holding together for our sake. In essence, God is warning us about the proverbial dreadlock forming at the back of our head.
But here’s the rub.
My daughter can forget to brush her hair for three days, and the much-anticipated dreadlock doesn’t show up. And sometimes, we find ourselves asking the same question of God. Why do good things happen to bad people? Why can some go without “brushing their hair” and not immediately suffer the consequences?
In fact, sometimes it’s the opposite. Their hair looks glossy. Healthy. Effortless.
Why isn’t life a maths problem? Why doesn’t one night of disobedient brush-avoidance immediately result in a dreadlock, teaching the child, once and for all, that listening to their parents is the best way forward? Why can people outright disobey God and still live what appears to be a happy, fulfilled life?
Well…I don’t know.
It’s probably mercy.
And yes, while mercy feels deeply unfair when it’s heaped on our enemies, let’s not forget that without that same mercy, many of us would be carrying dreadlocks of our own that would need far more than gentle brushing.
Doesn’t that feel just a little bit hopeful?
God is good.
God is faithful.
God is loyal.
And God is just.
Obedience to God doesn’t promise a life free from problems. In the same way, dreadlocks - and painful moments - can still appear for children who are the most habitual of hair-brushers. But equally, a lifetime of pain can often be avoided through simple obedience.
I’ve always had to learn the hard way. But I’m hoping that, given enough time, I’ll become one of those blessed people who simply takes God at his word.
And maybe, just maybe, my daughter will follow me down that path too, and showers and hair-brushing will one day become second nature. God-willing.
