The Hopeful Series: Redemption

This is Part Two of a four-part series.

When I was 16 years old, I attended a summer youth camp near a beautiful lake in Taupo, New Zealand. To say this was a formative part of my journey is an understatement—it changed the trajectory of my life forever. I remember showing up jaded with Christianity, ready to give it all up for what I thought was the love of my life. God had been a steady presence in my life, but teenage love was proving to be quite the challenge to my faith. I didn’t fall in love very often, but when I did, I fell hard.

I remember the exact moment I surrendered to God again—and this time, it was the big one. The one I wouldn’t ever look back from. He didn’t push His way in. I was just sitting quietly on the tent floor while everyone around me was standing and worshipping. I remember hugging my knees, trying not to let the emotional high of a teenage Christian camp get to me. I quietly started conversing with God, letting Him know that I didn’t have the mental strength to leave this new life I was carving out for myself, so if He wanted me, He would have to come and get me.

“In our culture, it’s sadly become the norm to believe that God is only in the things that feel good. But God’s work often leads us through very painful and potentially damaging situations—and it is to Him that we must look for the healing way through. ”

It was the slightest opening of my heart’s door, and slowly, over the next few minutes, God just quietly sat with me and took me at my word. He came and reached me in the kindest way imaginable. That was the day I finally became a full-fledged follower of Jesus, and I left my plans for my life behind. I broke up with the boy and genuinely committed my life to God.

However, my redemption story isn’t just a story of one moment. It’s a journey of small redemptive acts throughout my life. God provided that pivotal moment, yes—but redemption has been a constant journey of falling and getting back up, again and again. And what’s harder is that these moments haven’t lessened as I’ve gotten older. In fact, they’ve become deeper—a painful reminder that I am in constant need of the work of redemption.

In our culture, it’s sadly become the norm to believe that God is only in the things that feel good. But God’s work often leads us through very painful and potentially damaging situations—and it is to Him that we must look for the healing way through. He is using these very situations to shape and mould us into people who can stand firm in the toughest of times. He hasn’t promised that we won’t face hardship, and not all of those hardships come from the outside. Some of the deepest trials are caused by deeply rooted sin in our own lives that is slowly being dug out of us. Ouch.

But here’s the truly beautiful thing—He promises that He has already overcome the world.

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” — John 16:33

He promises to be with us through everything:

“Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” — Hebrews 13:5b

He promises that it won’t be too much to handle:

“No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.” — 1 Corinthians 10:13

He promises there will be growth and fruit if we remain in Him:

“If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.” — John 15:7–8

A new challenge for me has been the humility it requires to be honest about this journey while I’m still walking it. It’s vastly different to share truths that have become apparent in hindsight than it is to share honest, humbling truths as you stumble through them—often standing in front of people with mud on your face.

I know I’m challenged by the desire to look successful in this work, to show that the Holy Spirit is overflowing in my life and ministry through my rightness and holiness—especially as a missionary. But God is often working in my weakness. And as spiritual as that sounds, it usually involves me being genuinely weak, genuinely wrong, and publicly falling from grace. It’s flippin’ hard to look that stuff in the eye and not turn away, not leave everything just to find a little reprieve.

But God redeems even this—through honesty and transparency. In sharing these stories of deep shame and sin, God is working through the situation to give other people the space to share their deep shames and seemingly insurmountable sins. I no longer believe I have to be on the edge of the pit looking down, offering a hand. I’m down in the mud, holding the arms of others as they also offer me their strength when I’m weak—we’re all striving toward God and His righteousness. That looks very different from standing above the mess with a hand outstretched.

This journey has shown me that I can no longer rest easy in the assurance that I’m beyond my sin or beyond hardship. But I do fervently believe that God is with me as I wrestle with both. And He’s offering me a way forward—a way that can only be walked through community and the power of the Holy Spirit.

It’s messy. But it’s honest.

And I’m told it’s worth it in the end.