5 Digital Rules for Missionaries
This post was first published on the blog A Life Overseas.
In a world of increasing busyness and distraction, even in the missional sense, the digital world pulls us into its steady stream of consciousness, asking for as much as we can give, and then some.
We are sorely mistaken if we think that as ministry workers we will avoid this. In fact, I find it more common that as we lose control of much of our surroundings and personal choices, we tend to try to take some control back by allowing ourselves freedoms in our personal time.
I personally struggle with my tendency to finish all my jobs, tidy my house to a reasonable standard (sometimes), and then flop onto my couch, phone in hand, for some “well-deserved me-time.” Far be it from me to discredit the comfort that provides. Rather I would like to challenge the lack of conscious thought around this and how we can implement healthy boundaries to perhaps better enjoy both the distraction itself and the life we lead outside of the screen.
I’ve been reading a lot on this in a general sense, and I liked some of the boundaries given by people who are thinking and working in this space constantly on behalf of the church. John Mark Comer has wrestled through this problem himself and seems to have found himself in a better place, if not on the other side of this possible addiction. Strahan constantly calls the wider church to return to contemplative practices regularly in life, sometimes more clearly calling us to leave our screens behind for a time. And there’s an ample supply of writers calling us to spiritual disciplines that ask us to ‘step away’ from normal life to encounter silence, and sometimes perhaps God’s voice.
So here I’ve collected a few of these and applied them to the missional life. I hope it comes as a call, an encouraging hand held out to help you set up some boundary lines around your life, as I continue to attempt this myself.
1. Take digital breaks as self-care.
Personally, struggle street for me is what I have fondly nicknamed ‘witching hour’—the hours before sleep when the child has settled down, the jobs and the eating have been done, and what’s left is to relax and settle in for the night. This is usually when the doomscrolling happens, sometimes eating away literal hours of my evening, to my deep shame.
One of the habits that has allowed me to reclaim some of this time is the action of ‘putting my phone to bed.’ I first learned this phrase through Comer and mistook it to mean that the phone goes to bed when I do. But actually in The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry, he writes about the practice of ‘parenting your phone’ which basically means putting your phone to bed before you do and making it sleep in—giving yourself time both in the evening and morning to live without your phone in hand. Insert horrified gasp here. But when this constant action becomes a habit, the spaaaaaace you feel mentally turns it into a self-rewarding habit.
Another digital break I have been regularly applying is the deletion of the doomscroll apps. I do this semi-regularly when I notice my use starting to creep up again. And by creep up again I mean when hours have literally been wasted over a month or so. I’m no saint; I haven’t been able to apply this discipline constantly and liberally, but it does work, and I have just now done it again. The relief is almost as immediate as the regret, but the regret doesn’t last as long.
2. Put your family first.
It’s tempting to get into a habit of always having your phone in hand, especially in the family moments. Nothing is more attractive to our newsletter readers and social media followers than a casual picture of the children playing in a foreign playground with tasty cultural differences littered around the scene. And yes, we should do that on occasion.
But what’s more difficult is that once the phone is out, it remains out for longer than we would like. And we get distracted by the notification that just popped up. And someone’s gran just replied to the last picture and all of a sudden you’re sucked back in.
One of the ways around this, I mentioned previously, is to remove the socials from your phone. It will allow you the chance to take the picture, save the memory and then get straight back to the family.
But another way to help is to have ‘Family Focus Hours’ where the screens once again get packed away, and that next hour or hours are spent with your family, paying attention to them and their needs.
Lastly on this note, don’t take everyone with you on holiday. Again, the memories are good to keep, so take the photos and videos, but don’t let the screens and the social media buzz that we get when we share exotic and new locations pull you back into that space while you’re there. Save it for afterwards if you must.
3. Consume wholesome content.
Now I know that when the word ‘wholesome’ comes out, we immediately move to thinking that I’m about to warn against unwholesome R16 or R18 movies and content. But I also want to warn against the impact of staying online ingesting miles and miles of newsfeed about what’s going on in the world.
A common note around digital and screen use is that mostly it’s all good, but the amount and the pace of ingestion are not always good. Staying on top of the news and keeping informed, great. Letting it inhabit every waking thought and scroll? Not so great.
The amount of mental and emotional energy I’ve given to the state of the world’s affairs has been a little over the top. I now limit myself to the occasional post by well-regarded journalists that might show up in my email inbox or on my Instagram. But I don’t scroll, and I don’t allow myself to wander down the rabbit hole . . . very often. Of course we will have times we want to follow the scent, but we need to limit when and where.
Our jobs as missionaries and cross-cultural workers rely on our ability to be in hard situations and be able to focus on the good. The news cycle often works in the opposite spirit. Our job is to unify cultures in one way or another; don’t allow yourself to be dragged over to the other side.
4. Purpose before play.
Don’t spend your online energy on junk content before you get around to doing your work.
Some of us have the privilege of representing our work to the countries we have been sent from. We have to take what we are experiencing in terms of the work God is doing where we are, and we are privileged to share that with our sending churches and communities.
But sometimes, when it comes time to write and share, our mental capacity for that has been slowly leaking out through the days and weeks in other online interactions, and we have no energy for the supporting communities that have been partnering with us to get us there!
This is yet another reason why ‘parenting your phone’ is a good boundary. Save your screen time for when it matters most. Don’t squander time on entertainment or disengaging. Use it wisely—it’s not a never-ending resource.
5. Be where your feet are.
We have given up so much to be where we are. Some of us have given up dreams, homes, family, possessions, relationships, potential relationships, the list could go on.
Why should we now get to where we are and use that time looking back over our shoulder at what was, or looking over someone else’s shoulder at what they have, or the state of the world where they are?
Guys, be where your feet are. Invest in the community you have. Share meals with the people who live next door. Run your child’s daily energy out at the playground and look other parents in the eye.
We have been given such a great gift, and to squander it on digital disengagement is frustratingly normal. Let’s push back on that and continue to strengthen the discipline of being present.
We’re not truly honouring the place we are and learning from the new culture if we’re constantly disengaging and disassociating. Dig your toes in. Plant firmly. Put your phone down.
None of us will do this perfectly. Screens and social media are woven deeply into our work and our lives now. But small boundaries can make a big difference. A few simple habits can slowly return our attention to the people, places, and calling God has placed right in front of us.
