Preparing a Toddler for Missions
When God nudged us to head overseas, and we finally said yes, we were so excited! Nothing could stop the momentum, and boy did we have heaps of it! We knew what needed to happen, and so we went about starting to make it work.
But what goes through the mind of a toddler through all the change? What will Minna be thinking when we have goodbye parties and when grandparents are crying as they wave goodbye? What will she be thinking when her room is packed into bags and all her favourite toys have disappeared?
Well, the honest answer is we don’t know. We’re not going to know exactly how Minna is thinking and feeling when all the change takes place, but we are going to be very purposeful about how we approach it and how we process it with her. And one of the things we can do from this side of the adventure is to be purposeful about certain actions that will smooth out the overall transition.
1. Preempting Developmental Transitions
As a family who knows that big changes are coming, we want to be mindful of developmental transitions and be purposeful about minimising the overlaps. If we can transition Minna before or a big while after the move in order to minimise the stress we feel as a family, well by George that’s what we’re going to do! For example, Minna has been happily sleeping in her baby cot since birth, and there’s nothing about opting into an open bed early that seems to take my fancy, cue the toddler escapes and full room messes. However, I don’t want to be taking Minna through that transition over the first month in Budapest, along with all the other changes. So we’ll be teaching her how to sleep in a bed sooner than originally thought, and that’s ok. Because not only do we have to think about what would suit Minna in her own development, but also what is going to be easier on the whole family in the long run.
2. Choosing Activities that can be Maintained
Over the past year, when signing Minna up for any extra activities we watched what she was genuinely interested in as well as keeping in mind what might be available in Budapest. These extra activities might not seem like a huge deal by themselves, but every little similarity will hopefully help to settle her into her new life that little bit quicker, and by default our family unit should be a little less stressed.
3. Maintaining Rewards Systems
One of the cogs in our family machine is the rewards system. Over the past few months, we’ve come up with a portable rewards system that can be utilised wherever we may be. One of the key aspects of bringing toddlers the feeling of security and safety is one of clear guidelines and guardrails for them. So no matter if we’re at an airport, at home, at our new home, or away on holiday, we will have a rewards system that can run smoothly. Minna’s system involves earning stickers which in turn earns her ice cream after a while. This reward wasn’t just chosen by chance either. On our recent trip to Hungary we noticed that gelato is a bit of a big deal over there, so we’re sure to have our choice of ice cream parlours when we need it. So while this reward harks from home, it is a beautiful way of bridging cultures that could bring ease to the whole process. And this segways nicely into my next point…
4. Traditions
There is going to be a lot of change over the next few months. And while children are highly adaptable, keeping some of our lives the same should help to transition. Family traditions are going to play a huge part in this. Up until now, our little family hasn’t purposefully set out to create traditions. I’m not a very traditional person, so we sort of just wing it a lot. However, with the encroaching trip and the knowledge that we will want to bring some of our own culture with us, we’ve been setting about purposefully creating traditions that we can take with us. For example, Minna and I have started to enjoy a Saturday routine of going out for coffee, and sometimes Papa joins. While Minna has yet to drink the healing elixir that is coffee, the lovely warm fluffy that she inhales every Saturday morning seems to suffice. The important thing about this tradition is that it can occur whether we’re in Hamilton or Hungary. The walk may be different, the coffee house may be different, but the action of leaving the house with Mama and going and grabbing a hot beverage will still be the same. And that will be comforting for both Minna and myself.
5. Holiday Traditions
When I sat down and actually thought about it, I realised that there are a lot of Christmas traditions we do as a family that are closely linked to the beach and to summer, because we live in New Zealand, which is in the Southern Hemisphere. No white Christmases, ice skating, or warm drinks by the fire for us. Our Christmas traditions are more like summer barbeques, followed by dips in the pool to cool off and refreshingly cool drinks to welcome in Christmas Eve. To make this holiday cater to both hemispheres, we’ve decided to add in things to our Christmas calendar that will be sure to happen no matter what side of the world we find ourselves in. We’ll add in traditions like opening a gift on Christmas Eve, attending a Christmas Eve service, creating an advent calendar, and sharing a meal with friends, amongst other things!
I don’t know if you’ve figured by now, but the keyword through all of this is stability. By creating and using traditions, no matter what upheaval, Minna will feel like there is some stability to her life. Hopefully, this will take away some of the stress of leaving valuable friends and things behind, and will help transition her into our new life on the other side of the world. And the best part is that by being purposeful about making Minna’s transition easier, it should by default reduce the amount of stress on the whole family.
So here’s to parenting whilst also saying a massive YES to adventures!
